Joel Osteen

There are really only two kinds of people in the world...those who love Niel Diamond and those who don't. I don't particularly care to sit down and hear a cutting edge rendition of "Crackling Rosy" but then what do I know? It seems Neil has good company because when it comes to Joel Osteen, once again we have a divided camp.

As I dressed this morning in my best clothes, spit shinned my only pair of black shoes, my thoughts continued to run about my head as to what questions to ask Joel Osteen.You see I have been attempting to interview him for just about a year now and today it was looking like I would get my chance.

A short time later, while at the gas station for a quick "top off", I realized today was Friday the 13th a day steeped in superstition. Some think of it as an usually wicked day of "Murphy's Law" on steroids but I don't put too much faith in chance and superstition. However, today was different and that particular fact did drive me to prayer just to be sure there would be no mix ups or bloopers. Although there was the possibility that my turrets syndrome might rear its ugly head while I was being asked for my personal identification at the front gate kiosk. Would the words "there is a bomb in my trunk" tumble out of my mouth as I was asked for my identification. Click, on goes the handcuffs.

This scenario kept popping up in my thoughts as I don't really have an official "Media Credential" and the last email I got from Joel Osteen's personal assistant Andrea was don't forget your "Media Credential". While doing a radio show at KPRZ I never needed a media credential as my guests would be interviewed by phone.Whats really funny about this whole thing is just the day before I produced my own Alpine Sun "Press ID" at the local Postal Annex. So now if the bomb comment didn't throw me in the brig then the pseudo-faked ID was sure to be my one way ticket to Guantanamo Bay.

My dad,Wayne, decided to go along with me at the last moment. He likes Joel Osteen and Neil Diamond  for what ever that is worth. Joel Osteen is a little on the shorter side. He almost looks like he is being swallowed alive by by his suit. There really wasn't room for two of him inside his modest blue suit but one can only think that the rigors of life in the spiritual fast lane are beginning to wear him down.

People had arrived early and were eagerly standing in line to get a glimpse of or maybe if they were lucky a handshake from Pastor Osteen. With his wife Victoria by his side they both reached out and shook hands as they worked the line of people from the back to the front, which  by the way, I thought was very classy.

What Joel Osteen lacks in stature he makes up for in the warmth that flows from his over sized heart.In just one short hour both he and his wife were able to both sign a couple hundred books each. All books were joyfully handed back to each person with a smile and a "Thanks for coming".

The very next thing I knew I was being hustled back into a security room. Now I'm getting nervous and started thinking my fake media credential had been discovered remembering the last email from Andrea had said "Don't forget your media credential". From the doorway I could see Joel and Victoria being escorted my direction and soon the room was filled with security and the sound of many voices all talking at once. Andrea spoke up "Joel, this is Dean and his father Wayne" Joel's kind blue eyes seemed to twinkle a bit as he said "its so nice to meet you both". Now keep in mind he just finished signing a couple hundred books and grabbed at least double that in hands.

So the day so far went off with out a hitch. I did a very quick interview with Joel Osteen, said our goodbyes and off they were hustled into waiting limo. Andrea said you are coming tonight to our "Night of Hope"? I said of course and she gave us a couple of tickets up front in the 6th row. I'm not going to tell you all about my interview with Joel you will have to read about it in the Alpine Sun. You know maybe I do like Niel Diamond after all.